200!

You are a part of history…right now as you read! My history anyway. This is my 200th post on this blog! That is a whole lot of thoughts, words, randomness and emotions. Four years worth, almost. Next month is actually the fourth anniversary of my first post. I’ve shared a lot with friends and random strangers. I always have been a pretty open book so that part isn’t really shocking. The fact that I’ve stuck with it for four years is a bit surprising. I usually move on more quickly than that. Some of you may think I did move on as sparse as my posts have been in the last year. Sorry if you were eagerly anticipating more words of wisdom from me. I think I’ve been reserving all my wisdom for my new job and family.

None the less, I thought it time to write this 200th post. I’ve actually had others swirling in my head, but just didn’t want to write them before I commemorated this momentous event. But how to celebrate? I thought about linking back to some of my favorites posts, sort of a walk down memory lane. But I know once I start reading old posts, I’ll be lost for the rest of the evening. That’s one of the reasons I’m thankful I have blogged this long – my memory stinks and this is a great way to remember what was happening and what I was feeling.

I’ve mulled this over for a month and no post:(. Phooey with that!

I thought about sharing 200 random thoughts. That’s a lot of random thoughts! Maybe more than you want to read? I don’t know if I have that many…Hubby would probably disagree. So here goes…I may get to 2, 20 or who knows.

1. Blog posts that tell people what they should/should not say to (fill in the blank) annoy me. You know, the 9 things you should never say to a new mom. Please, you don’t speak for all new moms and telling others how to be nice to you is just rude.
2. My ears have been plugged for two weeks! I flew to LA 2 weeks ago and they plugged on the way there. One or both have been plugged since. According to the doctor I am suffering from Eustachian tube dysfunction. Huh?
3. The inhaled steroids they gave me to make my ears functional again smells like lilacs. I love lilacs! I’m having my own little springtime in my head.
4. I don’t have a musical cell in my body. I know this and if you heard me try to sing, apparently you would know too. I’m not shy about this, I tell people I don’t know music. But then I feel bad when I tell someone they played great. Doesn’t really mean much coming from me:/.
5. I need a bigger closet. I’ve been considering knocking out the back wall of my closet when Middle Son goes to college in the fall, just so I can make his whole room my closet. Is that wrong?
6. Speaking of Middle Son, he’s leaving for a summer internship in less than 2 months! And then college 3 weeks after he gets done with his internship. AHH! Mama not ready for that!
7. When I started this blog the boys were 12, 14 and 16! That seems like forever ago!
8. We now have 5 drivers in the house. Well technically one of them is not in the house, he’s in his dorm. And one can’t drive solo til this summer. But, still. We have 3 cars. Hmm…
9. So we bought a motorcycle. Ya, weird. And questionable decision. But it’s kind of fun to do something questionable now and then. As long as its legal and questionable.
10. I don’t want my sons to do questionable things. Maybe I should put more qualifiers on my number 9.
11. I heard Youngest Son play a snare solo tonight and I was pretty much blown away. He’s really good! See #4. See what I mean, now you wonder if he is really any good. Other people thought he was. People who can play music themselves. So he must be good:).
12. As my kids get older, I think more and more about when Hubby and I met. We were so young. We didn’t know we were, but we were. It makes me think about what my 40-something self would tell my 20-something self. But then I remember, my 20 something self wouldn’t have listened to me anyway. And that’s ok. I think the best lessons in life are the ones we learn our selves.
13. Lessons like falling for a phishing scam. After saying, “How could anyone be so dumb?” It was supposed to be a rhetorical question. But I guess I answered it for myself. Lesson…trust your gut Judy. All 10 times you questioned yourself! Won’t repeat that mistake. See, the best lessons are the ones you learn yourself.
14. I heard a news report today that they arrested the person who shot into a crowd at the zoo. He is 16. And on parole. People were saying he should be put away for life. That there is no hope for someone like that, he’s beyond help. And I couldn’t quit thinking about my sweet 16-year-old boy. Thinking about how much that kid must have been through to be where he is today. And wondering if his mama is hurting as much as I think she is right now. Wondering where she went wrong, what else she could have done. Or does he have no one to worry over him? A 16-year-old boy doesn’t get to that point without going through a lot of pain. Makes me feel sad and helpless. I just want to give him a hug. My reaction surprised me.
15. I’m in denial about graduation. Two months from now it will all be over. I’m screaming in my head. Hold on, I’m so not ready for that. And it is going to happen whether I’m ready or not.
16. I love sunny days, but I really hate how people drive on sunny mornings. You drive this way every morning and you know when you come around that curve the sun will be bright. Put down your visor, put on your sunglasses and keep driving. You do not have to slam on the brakes because there is a sun! Please, remember you survived it yesterday.
17. Our sweet Gracie has been gone 3 months and I can still see her laying on the table looking at me when we said good-bye. Don’t think I will ever forget looking into her eyes as she took her last breath.
18. I have 59 posts in my drafts folder. That is a lot of unfinished thoughts. Some of them have potential. But I know me, and if I don’t write when the thoughts come, I will never write it. I used to jot ideas to come back to later. That doesn’t work for me. Without fail, when I come back later, I got nuthin’. The words just aren’t there.
19. It’s hard being a mom. Revelation there! My boys are close in age and often wanting the same things, like internships, jobs and cars. It’s hard when one gets what they want. I want to be excited for them, but my heart goes out to the others. I know, it’s life and it builds character and all that crap, but I still empathize.
20. Only 2 1/2 years until Youngest Son goes to college. Then what? Sometimes I think I have put so much of my energy and focus into being a mom I don’t know what comes after. But then I think of Oldest Son away at college. I still get to be his mom. It’s just different. It’s Mom-lite you might say. Instead of needing my help/input/money daily it’s more like weekly or monthly. I think that’s good.
21. The search term that brings people to my blog most….drum roll please…..loin cloth. Ya, weird huh? Of all the things I’ve written. Guess maybe there aren’t too many people writing about loin cloths.
22. My most used tag….Family. Shocking huh? Not really.
23. I have a problem buying shoes. I used to love shoes and had so many! Now, I think if others saw my shoe shelves, I would lose my girl card. It’s sad really. And I don’t know where I went wrong. I just can’t find shoes that are cute and comfortable and inexpensive. That’s my criteria for a good pair of shoes.
24. I love those surprise moments when you reconnect with old friends and laugh until your stomach hurts and the tears run down your cheeks. I did that a couple of weeks ago while I was in LA. It was a Facebook conversation with three friends from college; one in Washington, one in Colorado and one in Iowa. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I miss them…
25. 95% of my blog posts are written in the shower. There are two problems with this. 1) I can’t write in the shower (I think it’s bad for the laptop) so I am stuck remembering them until I get out and have time to write them down. Remember I have a horrible memory. 2) It takes a long shower to compose a blog post. Other people in my house shower in the morning too. They dislike being late and they really dislike cold showers. 😦
26. Sometimes I think I can’t be a good Mom and professional at the same time. I tend to be someone who throws myself into a project. Maybe that’s why? It’s a lot of throwing when you go from home to work to home again. I get a bit motion sick.
27. We are redecorating our bedroom. (See it’s the perfect time for #5.) I’m trying to pick a shade of grey that goes with the beautiful quilt my mom made us. I’ve bought 5 of those sample size jars they can mix for you. So now our bedroom has 5 shades of grey…hehe. I don’t like any of them:).
28. I don’t read like I used to. I always had a book I was reading and there were so many I couldn’t put down. Now I pick up books by the same author and get part way through and lose interest. I think I am reading 3 books right now. Hope I finish one of them.
29. We have bread in our trees. Yes, you read that correctly, bread in our trees. As in loaves of bread in the trees. Don’t judge. We came into lots of bread recently and some molded before we could eat it. It was a LOT of bread. I put it in the trash. Hubby said we should feed it to the ducks. Huh? We haven’t fed the ducks in years! I’m sitting in the living room when I see something flying in front of the window. What was that. There it goes again. Huh? Oh that’s just a son who shall remain nameless throwing the bread up to get it stuck in the tree so the birds and squirrels can eat it. Oh, make sense.
30. I took pictures tonight and realized I hadn’t used my camera since January 23rd. That is a really long time for me. Like record-setting. See, blogging isn’t the only love I’ve been ignoring lately.
31. My boys did not know who my favorite musical artist is! Isn’t that appalling?! I’ve seen him in concert 3 times and own all his CDs. And they didn’t know. They had a lot of good guesses, but they didn’t get it right. Where did I go wrong…
32. Bacon might be the best food in the world. Just sayin’.
33. I am constantly amazed by the kindness of my friends. From friends who give me cards and remember something I was stressed about a week or two ago, to friends who support my kids in their endeavors. I’m a lucky girl. I need to work on being a better friend. Doing the things I appreciate in others.
34. I knew it! I went back through old posts to look something up and just spent the last 30 minutes reading about 2010!
35. Whew! That was a lot of randomness stuck in my head. I’m stopping here. Here’s to more focused posts to come:)!

So there you have it. And kudos to you if you stuck with me this long- both on this post and with my sporadic writing in the last several months. I appreciate you reading and hope you are able to somehow connect with what I have to say. Life is challenging and it’s easy to feel like you are all alone in a sea of people. I hope you’ve found a little connection in some of my words…or at least a laugh.

Here’s to the next 200!

Thanks for following along.