He’s Coming Home!

It’s hard to believe, but today I will head back to Manhattan. This time I’m going to get Oldest Son and bring him back home. As of 1:30 today he will have completed his freshman year of college.

It. FLEW. By.

Completely.

I remember sitting at the dining room table last August writing a post and sobbing.  Just sobbing as I wrote. I couldn’t help myself. I knew it would all be ok, but I just wasn’t ready. And watching him walk away, actually pushing him away, that first day. Painful. The pain of that is still fresh. It seems so recent. And yet his first year is over.

I’ve learned a lot this year.

  1. I can survive what seems like the end of the world. Ok, that’s a little dramatic, but I really didn’t know how I was going to manage. I was so sad and not ready to have our family life change. But we are adaptable creatures. We figured out how to be a family of four – for the school year anyway.
  2. The way to Oldest Son’s heart is not through his stomach. {It might be through his wallet.} At the beginning of the year we would take home-made treats or chips and salsa to him. When we went back two weeks later, only a couple brownies had been eaten. {I think he might get that from his grandpa} We thought it was a fluke and sent lots of snacks for finals week. Then when we brought him home for our spring break vacation, he brought loads of snacks along. Apparently they feed him well in VZ dining hall.
  3. Middle and Youngest Son get along much better when Oldest Son isn’t here. It might be the whole odd number thing. Or maybe, I’d like to believe, its Middle Son taking on that big brother role. Doing for his younger brother like Oldest Son did for him. Buying him a treat in the morning for the day they posted drumline tryout results – he said it would either be a consolation or celebration treat. I didn’t even think of doing that! They help each other with homework, go to movies together and talk about the books they read. It’s pretty awesome. Until they start pushing each others buttons again.
  4. I don’t have to solve all his problems. I know this because he told me so. It was a tough transition for me. Each time he would call with a challenge, I wanted to jump into problem solver mode and fix it. But it’s harder to fix from a couple of hours away. When he was making plans to get home for his brother’s confirmation, it was messy. We went through so may different arrangements and one thing after another fell through. I told him this was stressing me out. He told me it shouldn’t cause it’s his problem to fix. Hmmm. True I guess. So I let go and low an behold he made it home. Lesson learned, kind of.

And now I’m excited to have him back home again. And a little anxious too! I remember how hard it was to come back home to Mom & Dad’s after I’d been on my own. They had different ideas about when I should sleep, how I should spend my days, when I should come home at night. I remember the feeling of not quite belonging. I longed to be “home” for the summer. But somehow it didn’t feel the same when I got there. It’s a weird limbo place to be. So I’m bracing myself for that, trying to keep my expectations in check. But I do have quite a Mason-can-do-that-when-he’s-home list going in my head. And his brothers have plans for him to take the dog out and feed her every day to make up for all the times he missed over the last nine months.

I guess we’ll be negotiating some ground rules and expectations on the drive back.

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1 Comment

Filed under Family, Parenting, School

One response to “He’s Coming Home!

  1. It’ll be ok… it’ll be ok… it’ll be ok…

    I’ve been there and totally understand. As much as you will love having him home, there will be growing pains as you all adjust to having him back. Feel free to vent (publicly or privately) anytime – I’m in the same boat!

    xoxo

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