Makin’ the Grade

My kids are grading my performance. And I’m not particularly happy. I think it might be time for a conference. Let me back up and explain a bit. They have all three had the same Geometry teacher. And he’s a great teacher. He covers so much more than geometry. He teaches them about life; about things like stocks and bonds, the heart transplant he received, and politics, you name it! I’m not quite sure the context of the message that promts it, but each of the boys have done the same assignment. He has them take out a sheet of paper, gives them a list of categories and has them give a grade to their Mom and their Dad for each one. Then they figure each parent’s GPA.

Mind you, I didn’t know I was being graded. Had I known I might have tried harder at some things. Maybe done some extra credit work before grade time. I mean it’s hard to remember to do all those parenting things all the time. There’s a lot to remember. You have to discipline, teach, counsel, be the financial advisor, advocate, police, cheerleader. That’s a lot of careers I didn’t train for! It’s all on-the-job training. Sink or swim.

I have the benefit of having three kids. You’d think it would help. I got to try things out with the first one. Tweak things with the second one. I should be getting straight A’s by the third one.

Not so.

I have to admit…I have no idea where the grade card is from Oldest Son. Being the kind, considerate guy he is he probably didn’t show me to spare my feelings. He probably graded me high, because he could empathize with where I was coming from. That’s just how he is.

Middle Son’s parent grade card has been hanging on the fridge for a year! Yeah, it was that good! Nearly straight A’s. There was one C for Help with Homework since math homework is impossible for me. Made my heart swell a bit. That’s actually better grades than I ever received in school!

Pride cometh before the fall.

Youngest Son brought his parent grade card home this week. Ya, it’s on the fridge. But for a whole different reason.

Revenge!

My goal is to live up to his evaluation of me. Shouldn’t be too hard. Apparently I’m just a middle C Mom.

He actually gave me an F. An F! You know what it was in? Drugs & Alcohol. I had to ask some clarifying questions about that one. Was he grading me on my consumption? On whether I endorsed it? Whether I’ve told him not to do drugs or whether I’ve provided them for him? Apparently, the F is because I’ve never had the don’t do drugs “talk” with him. Like formally sat him down and told him the dangers of drinking and drugs. Yes, I have told him he shouldn’t drink til he’s 21. Yes, I’ve told him how drinking impairs your judgment and you end up doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Yes, he hears me ask his brothers before they head out if anyone will be drinking where they are going. Yes, I have told them all that if they drink they are risking all the things that are important to them and it’s not worth it. But he gave me an F. Because we haven’t had the “talk.”

I only got two A’s from Youngest Son – Academic Encouragement and Saying “I love you.” I guess those are nice things to be good at, but really? A middle C average?

He did give me a few B’s – Birthdays {I think he must have done this on Friday, before his birthday on Saturday!}, Discipline and Shoulder to Cry on. Hmmm…do those go together? Discipline and a shoulder to cry on?

Round it out with C’s for Smoking talk {apparently I’ve covered that, just not well}, Quality Time and Sense of Humor. Here and I thought I was pretty funny. Maybe it’s just 13-year-old boy humor I don’t find funny?

So now my goal is to live up to his expectation of my parenting. I got off to a good start when I lost track of time and got him to basketball practice 15 minutes late. I didn’t mean to, and I did feel really bad. But of course, when he was telling me how upset he was I pointed out that I was just living up to my grades. Ha ha! {Now there’s a sense of humor:)}Ya, I’m that evil of a Mom. I just wish I hadn’t made his friend late too.

The only satisfaction in the whole rate your parents thing? For the first time in my entire life…I’ve actually gotten better grades than Hubby!

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2 Comments

Filed under Parenting, School

2 responses to “Makin’ the Grade

  1. holycowimforty

    First of all, kudos to the teacher. In these modern days, it’s hard to find a teacher who actually cares for the students as individuals. The assignment is such an interesting exercise for both the child and the parent. What a wonderful opportunity to discover what your children think of you under your “job description” hat. I have to admit that I’d be terrified to get my grade reports. You’re a brave woman!

  2. mizzblonde09

    This made me laugh. Middle C is also a note on the piano (as my music-nerdiness tells me), and I think it’s a good note. =) Its key has no sharps or flats, so it isn’t too complicated. No trying to maintain and keep up perfection, and no feeling totally rejected and failure-esk. Tough graders are hard to impress sometimes. But I agree with holycow. You’re brave!

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