Judy’s Rules for a Happy Home

So, I was looking for an old file on the laptop and came across this list. It made me chuckle. I am definitely a list maker. I like to keep track of what needs to be done. Maybe it’s because I have so many things going on or it’s because I have such a terrible memory.

Judy’s Rules for a Happy Home

  1. No one else wants to use the knife you used for your pbj/toast/etc so you can put it right in the dishwasher instead of balancing it on the edge of the sink.
  2. No one else wants to eat the heel of the bread. Either eat it yourself or throw it away.
  3. Butter tubs, margarine tubs, sour cream tubs, cheese tubs and every other tub that comes from the store with food in it are all disposable. That means throw it away when it is empty. Do not wash it and put it in the cupboard for Judy to throw away.
  4. Underwear, undershirts and socks are all dirty after wearing one time; even if it was only a few hours and you don’t think you got sweaty in them.
  5. The only room with a dishwasher is the kitchen so that is where all dirty dishes should be.
  6. If a paper is important to you, put it in a safe place that you remember. Papers found on the floor, under the furniture, or in random stacks around the house are not considered important and are subject to disposal at any time.
  7. If the house was a soccer field it would have grass on the floor and large nets at either end. Since this is not the case, do not play soccer in the house.
  8. If the house was a basketball court it would have lines painted on the floor and hoops at either end. Since this is not the case, do not play basketball in the house.
  9. The ghosts that occupy our house do not care for television. The power switch works well on all the televisions and will not wear out. Therefore, there is no need to leave the television turned on when you leave the room.
  10. Although we do own stock in a power company, the dividends do not offset the cost of leaving every light in the house on at all times. Please turn the lights off when you leave the room.
  11. Doing laundry involves sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away the clothes. All members of the family may do any part of this process, but all parts must be completed.
  12. When clean clothes are piled in a laundry hamper for a week they tend to look like they have been in the dirty laundry pile. If they are folded and put away, they look clean.
  13. Mom is capable of doing multiple things at once. However, when she is talking to one person

Clearly, I got interrupted mid-thought. I can imagine what the rest of that sentence was going to be. Something about the fact that I can’t pay attention to what your saying when I’m typing on the computer. I know I did have this hanging on the wall for a while. Some of the family saw the humor in my sarcasm, others – not so much.

Unfortunately this was another failed attempt at keeping the house neat, tidy and organized.

I might add a few other rules to the list…

  1. There is no certification required to load or run the dishwasher so feel free to go ahead and put your dishes in it. And if it’s full you are welcome to add soap and hit start.
  2. We don’t have  a dresser or closet in the kitchen, living room or dining room. That’s because this isn’t the place to get dressed.
  3. Those bars hanging on the wall are for towels. If you hang the towel up it will dry. If you throw it in a pile on the floor it will stay wet and smell.
  4. Cleats that were worn in the rain and stuffed in your backpack for a week will stink worse than a dirty diaper. If you air them out when you get home so they can dry, it won’t infect the entire house with the stench.

Maybe this list would be better titled, “How to Avoid Annoying the Bejeebers Out of Your Mother.” Not sure that would be very motivating though…



Filed under Family, Organization, Randomness

2 responses to “Judy’s Rules for a Happy Home

  1. Maria

    I LOVE THIS LIST Judy! May I borrow it?!

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