Celebrating the Spirit

I have always struggled with the notion of predestination. I believe to strongly in free will. Recently, I got into a discussion about this with good friends. We talked about how we see God intervening in our lives, about how we understand His intervention or guidance in our lives.
I believe there are many “right” paths to take. I believe God continually creates opportunity for us to experience the future He has dreamed of for us. We just have to be open to the nudging.
Which takes me to a celebration of sorts. A lesson for me in listening to the still small voice {or sometimes screaming alarm} that I believe to be God’s leading.
A little over a year ago, last spring, I started thinking about a gap I felt in my life. A missing link or hole of sorts. I hadn’t done a Bible study for MANY years. When the kids were young I did 3 or 4 Disciple Bible Studies. They were so powerful for me and made a huge impact on my spiritual life. Then I went to work full time and the Monday morning study didn’t fit in my schedule anymore. And the kids started getting involved in lots of activities quickly filling my weekend. The timing was just not right.
Fast forward about 8 years and I found myself with a hole that I knew needed filling.
At the same time, I found myself longing for more connections with Moms in my life stage – with teenagers and kids with one foot out the door. It occurred to me that many of my relationships to this point centered around the life of my kids. And though there were lots of great women I had made this journey with, we were connected because of our kids or their activities. I realized what I was craving is women I could connect with because we picked each other! Women I would remain close to whether our kids hang out or not, whether we are on the booster board together or not.
I needed connection.
Connection to other women and reconnection to my faith.
And I had a compressed work week at my job so my Fridays were free – me time!
What to do…
I sat with it for a long time, mulling ideas in my head. I looked at options out there. What I felt God leading me to do was start a Bible study in my home. It seemed to be the perfect solution to using the beautiful space I had, creating real connection with others and deepening my faith. But that was a risky idea. What if no one wanted to come? What if their lives are already so full, they have no need for a connection like I do? What if everyone else has all the close relationships they want? What if they already have a safe, supportive place to study God’s word? It sounds funny for me to say out loud now, but those were real fears of mine. I was taking a risk. Risking being rejected when what I needed was connection. Risking being the only kid raising their hand and saying, “I need help.” It was scary.
But I felt like this is what I was supposed to do. So I started making a list. I checked it way more than twice. I thought about women I had met who I wanted to get to know better. About women I thought might be open to a Bible study. About those I thought could be available on a Friday morning. There were some on the list I knew really well, some I had known for years and some I had only had very short superficial conversations with at a game or meeting. I didn’t know if any of them knew each other, but that didn’t matter.
After carefully wording a letter, I emailed about 20 women inviting them to participate. I was careful to let them know, if this wasn’t their thing, I wouldn’t be offended. And then I waited.
There were plenty of no responses. Lots of reasons it just wouldn’t fit or wasn’t the right timing. But, there were a handful of yes responses too. You could say the rest is history. But the rest is the real heart of the story.
I am so blessed {and yes, I do mean God looked on me and gave me a gift} by these women. I can’t imagine getting through the loss of my father without them. I don’t know how I would have gotten through May with Dad’s illness, Middle Son’s graduation and Dad’s funeral. They cleaned my house! Who does that?! They brought us meals and all those things we do to help each other. But more importantly, they have prayed with me, wiped my tears, understood the struggles of my heart, held me close when I didn’t know if I could get through and continue to pray me through it all. That is really powerful stuff!
And now, a year after that first anxious Friday, I see why God put it on my heart to start a summer study. God knew I was going to need something special, something more than what I had, to get through the things to come.
Not predestination, but working on my heart to prepare me in the way I needed.

PS. I debated about writing this for fear of hurting someone in my real world. There is risk- why didn’t she invite me? I would have come. I am sorry if I left you out, sorry if you are searching and not finding. My hope is that this post inspires others to listen to God’s calling, to reach out and ask for what you need. God will help clear the path for you!

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Filed under Faith, Thankful

Memories of Dad

Thinking of Dad so much. Here are the words I shared at his funeral. Thankful I did it and thankful I captured my thoughts at the time. Writing is so cathartic for me.

The last time I stood here with my dad was 23 years ago tomorrow when he walked me down this aisle to give me away as I married my husband Dan. I find comfort in saying goodbye to Dad in this place that holds so many good memories for all of us.
I’ve always cringed at eulogies or speakers who get up at a funeral and wax poetic about their perfect loved one. It always leaves me wondering about their weird habits or strange quirks. I promised myself that given the opportunity, I would tell the truth. Just like dad. He didn’t really sugar coat things. You always knew where you stood with Dad.
So here it is.
I have an amazing Dad. But he was a unique guy.
He has longer finger nails than any woman I know. I didn’t realize how odd it was until friends started asking. It always made me chuckle a bit when someone would say, “um…your dad has really long finger nails…”. Yup, he does. And wouldn’t you know it, I did not inherit them!
Dad liked a lot of strange foods. Who remembers being offered pickled herring? Nasty stuff and he loved it. And my sweet, generous mom stifled her gag reflex many times to make him beef or chicken liver.
I was a teenager before I found out not everyone had orange juice with their pizza. But we did. And when we have mom’s amazing cinnamon rolls, dad dunks them in his orange juice. And so does Scott.
But I think the strangest might be the pickled beef heart. According to my unofficial research, we may be the only family in the world that ate it!
Dad also came up with some crazy inventions. Like the side by side bicycle so a blind person could ride a bike. I know some of you looked at his inventions and thought, what the heck?
But what I saw in those was creativity and optimism and possibilities and potential. That’s what my dad was really about. Seeing a problem and immediately dreaming up a solution. Working through all the scenarios in his head and developing a way to make something work.
He had hope. He believed in potential and had the ability to imagine impossible things, especially when it comes to designing. Like a ramp for the scooter, a 3 stall garage or a theater in the church. He always had an idea in the hopper. And he believed in his ability to make it happen.
Anyone who knew Dad knew he had a generous spirit. Dad was a helper. From tools to trailers – dad would loan whatever he had to someone in need. And he was generous with his skills, talents and expertise as well. Just looking around the church you can see the physical impact he left on this congregation.
I will miss picking up the phone to describe the sound the car is making and get his thoughts on what might be wrong. I will miss being able to call him when I’m lost and have him point me home. But I am at peace knowing his body is now whole. And I believe he is telling a story to my uncles as they all sit around a workshop or piece of machinery.
Dad loved my mom fiercely. From the days when he pursued her as a teenager through the really lean times and the good times. He loved her until the end, always taking care of her.
I see my dad in each of my brothers. In Doug’s quiet contemplation with the wheels always turning, in Phil’s take care of business take-charge attitude that comes when something just has to get done and in Scott’s honoring of our past, respect for where we have come from and how we got to where we are.
Today, I can’t help but think what an amazing witness my dad gave to everyone he met. Micah 6:8 says …And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Well done Dad.
A life well lived.

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Filed under Family, Legacy, Parenting, Thankful

Anything But Content

I feel like my heart is raw. Like a wound that keeps getting torn open, again and again. There is no time to heal. There is no balm for my soul.
It is as though I’m running on a sandy beach, feet sinking deep into the warm sand making each step a little harder than the last. I know I need to keep going, but it’s so difficult.

I want to stop the world, stop all the change in my life, to regroup, to get my bearings again. I want to mourn and wallow, and feel sorry for myself. I want to cry until there are no more tears. And some days I do. But the next day they return, flowing strong and steady.

I’m going through the motions, but feel like my world is spinning out of control on the inside. Like the merry-go-round that I used to ride as a kid. The one that terrified me and made me feel ill. The one that spun and spun and left me puking in the grass.

I’m trying to be present. To be focused on the things that are big in my kids lives. The changes and challenges they face. I’m trying to be the mom they need me to be. But it’s so very hard.

I don’t want to take care of anyone else right now. I don’t want to problem solve with them or be their shoulder to cry on. I want my Dad back. I want to remember him, to think about the stories he told, to hear his voice again. I want him to not be gone. And I’m having a hard time focusing on anything else.

I guess I’m just shocked at how hard it is. I didn’t know it would be like this.

It has only been a few weeks. But life has gone on at breakneck speed. Work keeps happening, the house needs to be cleaned, the bills need to be paid the pictures need editing. There are college orientations and teenage transitions and all kinds of life still happening.

It all just keeps going. And I try to hide the tears when they come at work. I try to focus on my health and Bible study. I try to move forward. And yet I just want to cry.

A lot.

I find myself thinking of all the people who have gone through this before me. The people who seemed to keep going like their world hadn’t fallen apart when I know it had. They kept it together. I know they had to be hurting just like me, but they made it through. They went through the motions. They put one foot in front of the other and kept going. And I had no idea how hard it must have been.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I didn’t know what you were going through. I’m sorry I didn’t remember those things that would bring back the tears. I just didn’t know.

I am thankful to those who have been where I am today. Thankful for their understanding; for their notes and cards and texts.

I’m grateful I’m not going through this alone.

But most of all I’m thankful that I know I will see him again. That I believe life isn’t over at death. I believe in heaven and the afterlife. I am thankful that despite missing him terribly, I know that I will see him again. And that helps. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it gives me hope.

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Not Ready

It has been a week since my dad died.
The funeral is over, the flowers are dying, family (including me) have all gone home.
And now it is time to go back to work, to resume the daily routine. Time to get going, because life goes on.

Except I don’t want to.

I don’t want life without him to be normal. I don’t want to go to work and make dinner and pay bills like it’s just another week. It’s not just another week.
It’s the first week I’ve lived without my dad.
The rest of the world does keep moving. Life goes on all around me. And yet, I just want to make it all stop. I want the world to pause and be sad with me. To realize what a good man he was and what a hole he leaves in my life.
I always thought when the day came that one of my parents passed away, I would be able to stop. To pause. To just be. But the world doesn’t stop just because my life is turned upside down. Graduations still happen. Kids still move away from home. Bills still come in the mail. Finals still have to be taken.
It’s surreal actually.
To hear my dad passed away and have to go on about business. To have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, going through the motions trying not to cry a big ugly cry in front of people who can’t handle it. It’s too much.

I just want more time. And yet I know, life must go on. I know I am not the first person to lose a parent. I know others have been right where I am.

And I didn’t get it.

The outpouring of support from friends and family has been humbling. The kindness of people overwhelms me. I feel the immense love of friends and family. And still, I just want my dad.

So today, like my brothers, I will get dressed and put one foot in front of the other. I will go through this day. And I will get up and do the same tomorrow.
I will cry. I will laugh. I will be pissed off at how unfair it is. And I will go on.

One foot in front of the other.

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Filed under Family, Legacy, Uncategorized

Would It Be OK?

Would it be ok if I just take a moment to pause? Would anyone mind if I stopped this crazy spinning life for just a few minutes, or maybe a few hours?
You see this little man is graduating high school very soon and I’m not ready for that. I don’t mean the food or the decorations or the celebration.
My little man
I mean my heart.
I think I just need a moment, just a little more time to talk with that sweet boy. To listen to a few more of his ideas.
It went so very fast!
I was so busy. There was so much to do each day. Diapers to change, laundry to be done, a job to go to, just so much that had to get done. I tried to be present in the moment. But the moments went so fast.
It seems just the other day he was the shy little guy who hid behind me refusing to talk to anyone but his dad and me. The little blond with that infectious smile who could melt my heart at the bat of an eye.
Just that quickly he’s graduating high school and I’m not sure I’m ready.
I want to hold him on my lap and listen to him telling me about his day. Watch him create things out of recycle bin treasures.
Suddenly he’s taller than me. Ready to leave home on a summer adventure. And I’m not ready.
So would it be ok, if we just stopped for a minute or an hour?
Maybe we could all have an extra moment to hold our babies tight. To breathe in their baby scent and squeeze those little boy cheeks. To look deep into those blueberry eyes and tell them we love them soooooooo much!
Just for another minute.
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200!

You are a part of history…right now as you read! My history anyway. This is my 200th post on this blog! That is a whole lot of thoughts, words, randomness and emotions. Four years worth, almost. Next month is actually the fourth anniversary of my first post. I’ve shared a lot with friends and random strangers. I always have been a pretty open book so that part isn’t really shocking. The fact that I’ve stuck with it for four years is a bit surprising. I usually move on more quickly than that. Some of you may think I did move on as sparse as my posts have been in the last year. Sorry if you were eagerly anticipating more words of wisdom from me. I think I’ve been reserving all my wisdom for my new job and family.

None the less, I thought it time to write this 200th post. I’ve actually had others swirling in my head, but just didn’t want to write them before I commemorated this momentous event. But how to celebrate? I thought about linking back to some of my favorites posts, sort of a walk down memory lane. But I know once I start reading old posts, I’ll be lost for the rest of the evening. That’s one of the reasons I’m thankful I have blogged this long – my memory stinks and this is a great way to remember what was happening and what I was feeling.

I’ve mulled this over for a month and no post:(. Phooey with that!

I thought about sharing 200 random thoughts. That’s a lot of random thoughts! Maybe more than you want to read? I don’t know if I have that many…Hubby would probably disagree. So here goes…I may get to 2, 20 or who knows.

  1. Blog posts that tell people what they should/should not say to (fill in the blank) annoy me. You know, the 9 things you should never say to a new mom. Please, you don’t speak for all new moms and telling others how to be nice to you is just rude.
  2. My ears have been plugged for two weeks! I flew to LA 2 weeks ago and they plugged on the way there. One or both have been plugged since. According to the doctor I am suffering from Eustachian tube dysfunction. Huh?
  3. The inhaled steroids they gave me to make my ears functional again smells like lilacs. I love lilacs! I’m having my own little springtime in my head.
  4. I don’t have a musical cell in my body. I know this and if you heard me try to sing, apparently you would know too. I’m not shy about this, I tell people I don’t know music. But then I feel bad when I tell someone they played great. Doesn’t really mean much coming from me:/.
  5. I need a bigger closet. I’ve been considering knocking out the back wall of my closet when Middle Son goes to college in the fall, just so I can make his whole room my closet. Is that wrong?
  6. Speaking of Middle Son, he’s leaving for a summer internship in less than 2 months! And then college 3 weeks after he gets done with his internship. AHH! Mama not ready for that!
  7. When I started this blog the boys were 12, 14 and 16! That seems like forever ago!
  8. We now have 5 drivers in the house. Well technically one of them is not in the house, he’s in his dorm. And one can’t drive solo til this summer. But, still. We have 3 cars. Hmm…
  9. So we bought a motorcycle. Ya, weird. And questionable decision. But it’s kind of fun to do something questionable now and then. As long as its legal and questionable.
  10. I don’t want my sons to do questionable things. Maybe I should put more qualifiers on my number 9.
  11. I heard Youngest Son play a snare solo tonight and I was pretty much blown away. He’s really good! See #4. See what I mean, now you wonder if he is really any good. Other people thought he was. People who can play music themselves. So he must be good:).
  12. As my kids get older, I think more and more about when Hubby and I met. We were so young. We didn’t know we were, but we were. It makes me think about what my 40-something self would tell my 20-something self. But then I remember, my 20 something self wouldn’t have listened to me anyway. And that’s ok. I think the best lessons in life are the ones we learn our selves.
  13. Lessons like falling for a phishing scam. After saying, “How could anyone be so dumb?” It was supposed to be a rhetorical question. But I guess I answered it for myself. Lesson…trust your gut Judy. All 10 times you questioned yourself! Won’t repeat that mistake. See, the best lessons are the ones you learn yourself.
  14. I heard a news report today that they arrested the person who shot into a crowd at the zoo. He is 16. And on parole. People were saying he should be put away for life. That there is no hope for someone like that, he’s beyond help. And I couldn’t quit thinking about my sweet 16-year-old boy. Thinking about how much that kid must have been through to be where he is today. And wondering if his mama is hurting as much as I think she is right now. Wondering where she went wrong, what else she could have done. Or does he have no one to worry over him? A 16-year-old boy doesn’t get to that point without going through a lot of pain. Makes me feel sad and helpless. I just want to give him a hug. My reaction surprised me.
  15. I’m in denial about graduation. Two months from now it will all be over. I’m screaming in my head. Hold on, I’m so not ready for that. And it is going to happen whether I’m ready or not.
  16. I love sunny days, but I really hate how people drive on sunny mornings. You drive this way every morning and you know when you come around that curve the sun will be bright. Put down your visor, put on your sunglasses and keep driving. You do not have to slam on the brakes because there is a sun! Please, remember you survived it yesterday.
  17. Our sweet Gracie has been gone 3 months and I can still see her laying on the table looking at me when we said good-bye. Don’t think I will ever forget looking into her eyes as she took her last breath.
  18. I have 59 posts in my drafts folder. That is a lot of unfinished thoughts. Some of them have potential. But I know me, and if I don’t write when the thoughts come, I will never write it. I used to jot ideas to come back to later. That doesn’t work for me. Without fail, when I come back later, I got nuthin’. The words just aren’t there.
  19. It’s hard being a mom. Revelation there! My boys are close in age and often wanting the same things, like internships, jobs and cars. It’s hard when one gets what they want. I want to be excited for them, but my heart goes out to the others. I know, it’s life and it builds character and all that crap, but I still empathize.
  20. Only 2 1/2 years until Youngest Son goes to college. Then what? Sometimes I think I have put so much of my energy and focus into being a mom I don’t know what comes after. But then I think of Oldest Son away at college. I still get to be his mom. It’s just different. It’s Mom-lite you might say. Instead of needing my help/input/money daily it’s more like weekly or monthly. I think that’s good.
  21. The search term that brings people to my blog most….drum roll please…..loin cloth. Ya, weird huh? Of all the things I’ve written. Guess maybe there aren’t too many people writing about loin cloths.
  22. My most used tag….Family. Shocking huh? Not really.
  23. I have a problem buying shoes. I used to love shoes and had so many! Now, I think if others saw my shoe shelves, I would lose my girl card. It’s sad really. And I don’t know where I went wrong. I just can’t find shoes that are cute and comfortable and inexpensive. That’s my criteria for a good pair of shoes.
  24. I love those surprise moments when you reconnect with old friends and laugh until your stomach hurts and the tears run down your cheeks. I did that a couple of weeks ago while I was in LA. It was a Facebook conversation with three friends from college; one in Washington, one in Colorado and one in Iowa. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I miss them…
  25. 95% of my blog posts are written in the shower. There are two problems with this. 1) I can’t write in the shower (I think it’s bad for the laptop) so I am stuck remembering them until I get out and have time to write them down. Remember I have a horrible memory. 2) It takes a long shower to compose a blog post. Other people in my house shower in the morning too. They dislike being late and they really dislike cold showers. :(
  26. Sometimes I think I can’t be a good Mom and professional at the same time. I tend to be someone who throws myself into a project. Maybe that’s why? It’s a lot of throwing when you go from home to work to home again. I get a bit motion sick.
  27. We are redecorating our bedroom. (See it’s the perfect time for #5.) I’m trying to pick a shade of grey that goes with the beautiful quilt my mom made us. I’ve bought 5 of those sample size jars they can mix for you. So now our bedroom has 5 shades of grey…hehe. I don’t like any of them:).
  28. I don’t read like I used to. I always had a book I was reading and there were so many I couldn’t put down. Now I pick up books by the same author and get part way through and lose interest. I think I am reading 3 books right now. Hope I finish one of them.
  29. We have bread in our trees. Yes, you read that correctly, bread in our trees. As in loaves of bread in the trees. Don’t judge. We came into lots of bread recently and some molded before we could eat it. It was a LOT of bread. I put it in the trash. Hubby said we should feed it to the ducks. Huh? We haven’t fed the ducks in years! I’m sitting in the living room when I see something flying in front of the window. What was that. There it goes again. Huh? Oh that’s just a son who shall remain nameless throwing the bread up to get it stuck in the tree so the birds and squirrels can eat it. Oh, make sense.
  30. I took pictures tonight and realized I hadn’t used my camera since January 23rd. That is a really long time for me. Like record-setting. See, blogging isn’t the only love I’ve been ignoring lately.
  31. My boys did not know who my favorite musical artist is! Isn’t that appalling?! I’ve seen him in concert 3 times and own all his CDs. And they didn’t know. They had a lot of good guesses, but they didn’t get it right. Where did I go wrong…
  32. Bacon might be the best food in the world. Just sayin’.
  33. I am constantly amazed by the kindness of my friends. From friends who give me cards and remember something I was stressed about a week or two ago, to friends who support my kids in their endeavors. I’m a lucky girl. I need to work on being a better friend. Doing the things I appreciate in others.
  34. I knew it! I went back through old posts to look something up and just spent the last 30 minutes reading about 2010!
  35. Whew! That was a lot of randomness stuck in my head. I’m stopping here. Here’s to more focused posts to come:)!

So there you have it. And kudos to you if you stuck with me this long- both on this post and with my sporadic writing in the last several months. I appreciate you reading and hope you are able to somehow connect with what I have to say. Life is challenging and it’s easy to feel like you are all alone in a sea of people. I hope you’ve found a little connection in some of my words…or at least a laugh.

Here’s to the next 200!

Thanks for following along.

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Filed under Randomness

Time to Speak Up

I was at the Kansas Capital on Monday advocating for individuals with MS. I was there with others who care about issues that impact those living with a chronic disease like Multiple Sclerosis. There were lots of appointments scheduled with Senators and Representatives. I knew the “religious freedom” bill was up for discussion that day, but honestly didn’t think much of it. However as the program portion of the day wrapped up and we got ready to make visits, we received word that many of them would be cancelled because the House was still in session discussing the “religious freedom” bill.

I have a twitter account, but I don’t tweet. And honestly, I only use it to check up on my kids. But someone more hip than me showed me how to follow the action in the house on twitter. I was truly riveted to the feed. It was shocking to hear the 140 character descriptions of what was happening. {As an aside, I think we just figured out why I don’t tweet…140 characters?} Just as I was considering going into the gallery to hear the discussion live, I saw they had voted. And it passed.

I will be the first to admit, I don’t totally understand our legislative process. And yes, I’m embarrassed that I don’t know exactly how things work. It has kept me from speaking out when I probably should have. I like to know the facts, know and understand what I’m talking about before I run my mouth. Not completely understanding the process or the legal verbiage used in bills keeps me from talking. I know enough to know, that I don’t know a lot.

But what I did realize, is that I do know enough to have an opinion. I probably understand the issues as well as the next guy. Maybe better on some topics and undoubtedly less so on others. I also realized from participating in advocacy days…our Senators and Representatives are just like me and the next guy. They know enough to be dangerous on some topics too.

In the interest of not sounding like a fool when I express my opinion, I try to be a diligent consumer of information. I watch sources; look at who wrote a piece, where it came from, how well it is cited. Essentially is it worth reading? I try to go to the source. I have read more bills lately than I ever imagined I would, in the interest of knowing what I’m talking about. {I tried but didn’t make it through the Affordable Care Act, but then neither did those who passed it:)!} I try. I try to understand where they were coming from and more importantly, what injustice or wrong is being corrected. What travesty avoided, what problem solved by any legislation that comes to my attention.

So when I read this bill had passed the House, I felt the need to read the text for myself. Now I’m not a lawyer, but what I read is concerning at best. Down right frightening the longer I sit with it. By my read, in my understanding of English, it sounds to me like this bill gives every person the right, based on their “sincerely held religious beliefs” to not only refuse to serve someone, but refuse to recognize them in very basic ways. And then it goes further to say that the individual being refused does not have the right to claim they have been discriminated against. Huh?

Let’s play that out a little bit. So my “sincerely held religious beliefs” call me to polygamy. I believe with all my heart this is the way God intended us to live. I also happen to be the clerk in the county office that issues marriage licenses. I have the right to refuse to issue a license to someone who is choosing a monogamous marriage. The idea of marrying just one person goes against the way I was raised, the faith I follow and my personal beliefs so I will not issue a marriage license to someone who believes differently than me. And don’t think you can sue me for this, because this law makes it perfectly acceptable for me to refuse to serve you. It even adds adoption, foster care, social services and employment to the mix. And I cannot be fired for refusing to do my job.

Sit with that for a moment.

Government employees, private businesses, big corporations, small mom & pop shops. They all have the right to refuse to serve someone who goes against their “sincerely held religious beliefs”. Every employee of every agency, business or organization. That’s a lot of sincerely held religious beliefs.

Certainly there must be a horrible injustice being corrected by this legislation. Well…So if…Maybe…Nope, I got nothing. I cannot figure out the problem. I can’t figure out the horrible oppression religious people in our state are experiencing to precipitate this law. I don’t get it.

It doesn’t pass muster.

The reality is, it is a thinly veiled attempt to take a preemptive strike against the inevitable ruling of the Supreme Court rendering gay marriage bans unconstitutional. It is a blatant attempt to single out a group of Kansans as less than. Less worthy of the pursuit of happiness we are all promised by our Declaration of Independence. It is glaring discrimination! Yet they have said it is not and just in case you don’t believe them, they will prove it by declaring you cannot claim it is. This legislation is dangerous. I don’t care where you stand on gay marriage, homosexuality or polygamy for that matter, this is scary legislation. And it is a giant leap back in time to a day when it was normal to fear those who are different from us. A time when our world views were so narrow, we would rather hate than learn about someone else.

On our vacation last spring break we drove through Montgomery, Alabama. We made a quick stop at the Greyhound bus station to read about the Freedom rides. One of the things that struck me as I stood there was how certain the whites were that they were doing the right thing. And how easy it was today to see how wrong they were.

If you live in Kansas, please get involved in the legislative process. Make your opinions known to your Senator and our Governor before it’s too late. This link will take you to the bill so you can read it for yourself. Go to openkansas.org to find your legislators.

If you don’t live in Kansas, please know that many of us are feeling like our state has been hijacked by a few with beliefs that I simply can’t understand; a real fear of those they don’t know. I am a conservative Christian and these people do not speak for me.

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